she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Go christen that room with your naked body.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Randomize
