is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize