Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Found the puke drawer
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
