Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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