Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
