I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
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