we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
