Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
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