im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
