you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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