Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize