you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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