i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
