Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
