I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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