evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
