i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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