if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
How external is "for external use only"?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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