I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
