we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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