Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
