yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
