I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I wish i was in the wii world.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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