the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
