do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
