i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
