Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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