He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
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