you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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