I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
