Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
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