so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
We talked him into tasing himself.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Randomize
