It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
