i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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