If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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