thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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