i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
