You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
