I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
