All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
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