Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
