I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
