If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Small penises have feelings too.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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