i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
