Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
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