dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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