going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
