If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
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