Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
