I think scott just propositioned me for sex
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
