How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
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