So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
