He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
do nipples grow back?
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