I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
