I puked a lego.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize