Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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