home. puking in laundry basket.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
