I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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