I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
