"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
