She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
