i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
