just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
