when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
