Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
