my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
