I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
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