Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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