i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
